Northwich u3a monthly meeting - August 2025
Our August speaker was Martin Gaffney who entertained us with, ‘ A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Station ’.
Martin has served 32 years in the Manchester and Cheshire Police Forces, has worked in Specialist Operations and also in Protective Security in places like New York and Vancouver. Latterly, he has been a lecturer on cruise ships. He regaled us with many anecdotes from his time in the force.
Taking us right back to the start of his career in the 1970s, Martin arrived as a new recruit with long hair, which obviously had to be cut to a ‘short back and sides’. The new recruits’ drill sergeant was very keen on this and would send anyone with hair not deemed short enough to the barber and make them run around the parade ground. Before each inspection, Martin would trim all the recruits’ hair. Needless to say, the sergeant was not best pleased that he had no-one to send to the barber.
As a new police officer in Moss Side, on night duty, he was approached by a colleague asking for help. This fellow officer was part of the force’s canine unit. He explained to Martin that he had a puppy who he didn’t expect to make the grade because he was always cowering in the van. He asked Martin to put on a protective arm sleeve and give the puppy one more chance. Martin was to run and after being asked to stop twice, stop and offer the protected arm to the puppy, who would then be recalled by the handler. Not being a dog lover, Martin’s first thought was to refuse but as a new officer, felt that he couldn’t. He donned the sleeve and ran, noticing that all the other police officers were watching from the other side of a fence! The handler shouted twice for him to stop and when he stopped and turned, was met by a ‘monster’- a huge dog, barking and gnashing his teeth. The dog dragged Martin down and would not return to the handler, who then tried to drag the dog away. The dog bit both Martin and the handler and they both had to visit the hospital!
During the ambulance strike in the 1970s, Martin and his partner had to take a very large man from his 6th floor flat to the hospital. The man had acute appendicitis and was in agony. There was no lift and the two of them put the man on a stretcher and negotiated the 6 floors. Unfortunately, the man fell off the stretcher 3 times and finally asked them if they wanted to kill him!
Martin amused us with many such stories, for example, having to deal with an escaped snake; trying to get Axel Rose (of Guns ‘n’ Roses fame) on stage on time; attempting to drive Prince (the pop star) to the airport late at night so that he could party at Claridge’s at 1.30 am, removing the Kenyan Commonwealth Cycle Team from cycling the wrong way on the motorway for extra practice and seeing a colleague dancing on the TV programme ‘Come Dancing’ even though he had said that he couldn’t work his shift due to illness.
Of course, there were very serious career moments too, and none sadder than informing family members of the death of a loved one, which Martin has had to do many times.
This was an extremely amusing, and at times very moving, presentation which highlighted the very diverse work of the police force and members enjoyed it immensely!
Come and join us at the next meeting on 17th September 2025 at 2pm in Owley Wood Recreation Club, Weaverham, when Philip Caine will take us ‘ From Barrow to Baghdad and Back to Barrow ‘.